FIRST PERSON
Brian Maurer
As told to Michelle Smith McDonald
I remember the moment when my mom asked me what I wanted to do when I was older 鈥� I think I was in middle school at the time 鈥� and I told her I wanted to be a 鈥渟tay-at-home son.鈥� I was happy in my home with my family, with my dog, the food I liked and my video games. I have autism. And I am a student at San Jos茅 State.
For most of my life, I wasn鈥檛 very interested in being social or hanging out with people. In eighth grade, my mom convinced me to go to the end-of-the-year dance and told me I had to stay one hour. I stayed exactly one hour, checked the time with one of the assistant principals and ran home as soon as my time was up.
In high school, I kept to myself most of the time. I would eat lunch alone in the career center every day. I ate the same thing almost every day. It was comfortable for me. It was my routine. I didn鈥檛 need to have a lot of friends. My sophomore year, I made a about my autism. I interviewed my mom and my sisters and we talked about what it was like to parent me, to grow up with me, to be me. When it showed at the school鈥檚 film festival, it got a big reaction. It changed how people saw me at school. They started saying hi to me in the halls. I felt like maybe I was coming out of my shell.
"This is Me," Brian Maurer's short film about life with autism.
And then COVID happened. I spent half of my junior year and all of my senior year at home, doing high school in front of a computer screen.
When I think about it now, it鈥檚 very depressing. I felt like I lost the opportunity to be the person to have the experience to socialize, to have fun, to be like everyone else. It definitely messed with me a little bit.
I spent three years in community college after high school. I started to realize that during the entire time I was there, I didn鈥檛 interact with people, and it made me sad. Throughout my entire life, I hadn鈥檛 gotten the chance to fully explore what it would be like to put myself out there.
There were a few people I would talk to in my classes, but none of them would ask, 鈥淗ey, do you want to grab lunch or coffee?鈥� or anything like that. One time I went bowling with a group of classmates. I think that鈥檚 when I realized that I want more of this social stuff in my life and I started trying to build confidence and talk to more people. I thought that maybe a four-year college would be the place to have that opportunity.
The first couple of weeks at San Jos茅 State were hard. Getting my Tower ID card was confusing. There was a lot of back and forth, but I finally got it. It was hard figuring out the bookstore and where things were on campus, where my buildings and my classes were. Two days in, I cried because I missed my home and my family and my dog. It鈥檚 kind of a lot. But it鈥檚 gotten a lot better.
Before I came to San Jos茅 State, I connected with and he answered a lot of my questions, as well as my mom鈥檚. Being in class definitely makes it easier to meet people. I live with six roommates, which I thought was going to be a bit of a challenge because I鈥檓 not really a talker, as everybody who knows me knows. But when I got to the apartment in the residence hall, everyone was surprisingly chill. It鈥檚 not very chaotic. It鈥檚 the kind of energy that I need. There is a bit of peace and quiet and then people will be hanging out talking. But I definitely needed to ease myself into it.
At first I didn鈥檛 want to tell my roommates about my autism because I was hoping they wouldn鈥檛 notice, but then I decided to tell them. They didn鈥檛 really judge me at all. They asked me a couple of questions about what that was like for me, and I鈥檝e told them that it affects my thinking. Imagine being the only kid in a class that can鈥檛 process information as well as other people. You are always the odd one out. They understood that, and ever since then, it鈥檚 been normal.
I spend a lot of my free time in my apartment. I do my homework, watch stuff online that I鈥檓 interested in, play video games. I eat and go and work out in the SRAC and shower and go to bed. I still need to have my routine every day. It鈥檚 just who I am. Having a routine is what keeps me together. But I鈥檓 not as specific as I used to be about when I eat or when I work out. I think I鈥檓 becoming more flexible in that way.
But I鈥檝e met a lot of people online on the Sammy app or other sites. I鈥檝e met people in my classes that I鈥檝e hung out with. I have gone to a few parties, but those are really loud and chaotic for me and I usually don鈥檛 stay very long.
I joined the wrestling club for a while. I connected with it through someone I used to work with at my job at home, and that made me feel at ease about doing it. But I鈥檝e never done wrestling before and physically, it was really demanding.
Brian Maurer (center) with his friends. Photo: Florian Pilsl.
I鈥檝e met some friends in classes and hung out with them. There are definitely times when I need time for myself, and I know I鈥檓 not the best at socializing, but I鈥檓 trying. I鈥檓 still a quiet person, and I love knowing there are so many opportunities here for me to hang out with people if that鈥檚 what I want to do. I want to do more of it. I probably like small groups more because it鈥檚 less loud and calmer for me, but I鈥檓 also learning not to mind larger groups.
Academically, things are going pretty well. I haven't needed to access any accommodations in my classes, but I鈥檓 finding my rhythm and figuring out what I need to do to get the work done. A couple of my professors know I鈥檓 on the spectrum because I鈥檝e communicated with them.
I am a communications studies major and I am hoping to graduate in spring 2026. I might want to do something political, or help people with autism. I don鈥檛 know yet.
How do I define success for myself? For me, my time at 91传媒厂 has already been a success because I鈥檓 doing it. After winter break was over, I was ready to come back. I still want to have more opportunities to put myself out there.
I know that I came to San Jos茅 State to meet people, make friends and be in an atmosphere where there are a lot of people around. It鈥檚 been so important to me. It鈥檚 probably my best time in a long time.
鈥淗ow do I define success for myself? For me, my time at 91传媒厂 has already been a success because I鈥檓 doing it. After winter break was over, I was ready to come back. I still want to have more opportunities to put myself out there."
鈥� Brian Maurer
Randy Rodriguez Connects Students
By Michelle Smith McDonald
Randy Rodriguez knows well how important it is to create a sense of community for 91传媒厂 students on the autism spectrum.
Rodriguez is an accommodations counselor and coordinator at San Jos茅 State鈥檚 Accessible Education Center (AEC). The AEC provides access through accommodations, services and design, facilitating an opportunity for students with disabilities to participate in all university programs and services. Rodriguez approximates that 250 of the estimated 1,500 91传媒厂 students registered campus-wide through the AEC have identified as being on the autism spectrum.
He leads a group called Connect, which currently includes about two dozen students. 鈥淐onnect鈥� includes a one-hour online meeting each week. Rodriguez leads the meetings by introducing a topic for discussion.
鈥淭he topics range from 鈥楬ow to manage your time better,鈥� to 鈥榃hat does love mean to you?鈥欌�� Rodriguez says. And on Fridays, Connect participates in social events 鈥� lunches, movies, game nights and bowling trips 鈥� all with the aim of creating a community.
Rodriguez acknowledges that there can be financial barriers to larger groups of students participating, since each student must pay their own way to Connect events, and even transportation, since many Connect members do not live on campus.
Rodriguez鈥檚 Connect students also have the opportunity to work with peer mentors, who provide check-ins on topics such as planning, staying on task and scheduling.
鈥淲e work with a few departments鈥� graduate programs, and they may have graduate students who can satisfy clinical or internship hours working as peer mentors or coaches,鈥� Rodriguez says.
One of the common things that Rodriguez sees in 91传媒厂鈥檚 autism community is the motivation to socialize.
鈥淭here are a lot of students that want to do it, but they don鈥檛 know how and that can be a barrier in itself,鈥� Rodriguez says. 鈥淭hey might be anxious. It鈥檚 not comfortable or it's not familiar, and even though it would help them to work on those social skills, because they live in a world that is so social. Connect is a great opportunity to practice those skills.鈥�
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